So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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