Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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