U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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