Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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