That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
