Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ladies don't puke and tell
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drunk is a universal language darling
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
