i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
