Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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