theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize