She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
