I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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