I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
