I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it glows. i had to have it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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