Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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