dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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