There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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