I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
