My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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