32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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