i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
