she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
