tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize