JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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