i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize