i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
