R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
