does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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