There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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