that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
