i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
jump out the window naked night went bad
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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