she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
