Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
