lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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