I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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