I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He uses pillows to masturbate.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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