you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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