i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
