3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
