Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Randomize
