I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
