i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
