come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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