I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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