trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize