omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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