Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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