Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
