What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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