i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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