I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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