so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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