is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
