brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
