You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
