We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we're making bets on your personal life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
