Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
be right there i have to get my cape
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize