I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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