Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.