tell your sister to shave her snatch
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!