we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her