They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"