so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!