he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
